Dear fellow LPN mums,
I am very happy to have found you all. This is a wonderful place to express ourselves and share information. I admire the enthusiasm and energy of those who have been mothers for 5 years or less and I thank you for letting me be a part of your world.
I have been a mother for 13 years now and I have benefited mainly from older mums who have put things into perspective with their wise comments and experiences. Now it seems it's time for me to get some fresh energy from younger mums too. I have 'been there done that' when it comes to searching for the information as to how best to prepare our children for their future. My first son was conceived and raised 'by the book' and it was hard work, done with much love (always been with all of our children) and it was yielding the expected results: baby slept through the night from 6 months, was introduced to foods on time, was trilingual at 18 months and responded to basic discipline rules. Then number 2 was born, another boy. NOTHING seemed to work: he even jumped out of his cot at NINE months when we were doing the 'by the book sleep alone in your room' procedure. So he shared our bed, stayed up late, couldn't speak clearly and seemed to be winging all the time! It was so tiring and as we tried harder and harder to put him into some kind of mould he rebelled more and more. At some point we started accepting him for who he was and not trying to make him some kind of preconceived toddler or child. He is a PERFECT 10 year old nowadays with a big heart and a loud voice that can be put to good use when needed (like when singing a happy song out loud!). After a 7 year gap we had our baby daughter who is now a toddler at 2 and a half. We have given up on books, rules and we have finally decided to simply ENJOY the ride. She is turning out quite normal, as trilingual as her brothers and as rebel as she naturally is.
I don't claim to be an expert, I just want to share my experience with you. What I would suggest is to enjoy parenthood. This is what I learned from older mums. They were smiling when I was complaining about how difficult potty training was or how much patience was needed to teach them how to write or make them read. I bought all the sticker books, the flash cards, the songs and the educational toys. At the end, each child is different and parents should make sure that they have a break too. I disagree with too much structuring. We should leave at least one afternoon - when they are at school age - just to be home and do simple things like watch cartoons (even if they are educational) or kick the ball. Let your children enjoy each other, interact as siblings like our grandparents did: the older can take care of the younger, they can all play with one ball, find snails in the garden and enjoy bilingualism, music, reading, sports or whatever it is that they are good at in a casual manner. I have discovered teaching my daughter the alphabet in English by singing while we change a nappy. The road is long and bumpy, sleepless nights come without a warning. We are only humans and we shouldn't get anxious on bringing up our children. Sometimes all you have to do is follow your gut feeling. Our children need to learn that we are not perfect and that we are humans just like them. We need our time and our space and as they grow into their teens there is a different danger of invasion into our already invaded space as individuals. It is our duty to help them with time management until their 20s (yes, twenties!) as found by recent neurological studies. Sometimes they will resist and we have to do it. But 20 or more years per child is too long to stress over perfection, don't you think?
Finally, I must to acknowledge that I have been very fortunate in being able to leave a routine that I had developed as a working mother for 10 years and left me EXHAUSTED. We went to a place where life goes on at a slower, more relaxed pace, where most families have 3 children instead of 2 and where mothers are forced to stay home with their children until they are at least 5. That gave me the opportunity to assess those 10 years and to wonder how could I have carried on like that for so long. There I could read more books on older children and I understood that after a certain point we cannot influence them anymore. So our initial efforts are very important and then the Community takes over, including teachers, sport teams, clubs, etc. So now I am using all my free time on bringing the spirit of community into the equation. This is a great place to raise children with a lot of individual effort into everything everyone does but when it comes to feel part of a community I think we are still far from where we could be. But that would be a topic for another note. In the meantime, get plenty of rest when you can, give yourself permission to make mistakes, say sorry when needed and ASK for 'me' time. Spoil yourselves because your children and your community need you happy, healthy and strong.
Thanks for reading.
Veronica Athanasiou
Ex Biology teacher and now full time mum with a particular interest on community issues.
I am very happy to have found you all. This is a wonderful place to express ourselves and share information. I admire the enthusiasm and energy of those who have been mothers for 5 years or less and I thank you for letting me be a part of your world.
I have been a mother for 13 years now and I have benefited mainly from older mums who have put things into perspective with their wise comments and experiences. Now it seems it's time for me to get some fresh energy from younger mums too. I have 'been there done that' when it comes to searching for the information as to how best to prepare our children for their future. My first son was conceived and raised 'by the book' and it was hard work, done with much love (always been with all of our children) and it was yielding the expected results: baby slept through the night from 6 months, was introduced to foods on time, was trilingual at 18 months and responded to basic discipline rules. Then number 2 was born, another boy. NOTHING seemed to work: he even jumped out of his cot at NINE months when we were doing the 'by the book sleep alone in your room' procedure. So he shared our bed, stayed up late, couldn't speak clearly and seemed to be winging all the time! It was so tiring and as we tried harder and harder to put him into some kind of mould he rebelled more and more. At some point we started accepting him for who he was and not trying to make him some kind of preconceived toddler or child. He is a PERFECT 10 year old nowadays with a big heart and a loud voice that can be put to good use when needed (like when singing a happy song out loud!). After a 7 year gap we had our baby daughter who is now a toddler at 2 and a half. We have given up on books, rules and we have finally decided to simply ENJOY the ride. She is turning out quite normal, as trilingual as her brothers and as rebel as she naturally is.
I don't claim to be an expert, I just want to share my experience with you. What I would suggest is to enjoy parenthood. This is what I learned from older mums. They were smiling when I was complaining about how difficult potty training was or how much patience was needed to teach them how to write or make them read. I bought all the sticker books, the flash cards, the songs and the educational toys. At the end, each child is different and parents should make sure that they have a break too. I disagree with too much structuring. We should leave at least one afternoon - when they are at school age - just to be home and do simple things like watch cartoons (even if they are educational) or kick the ball. Let your children enjoy each other, interact as siblings like our grandparents did: the older can take care of the younger, they can all play with one ball, find snails in the garden and enjoy bilingualism, music, reading, sports or whatever it is that they are good at in a casual manner. I have discovered teaching my daughter the alphabet in English by singing while we change a nappy. The road is long and bumpy, sleepless nights come without a warning. We are only humans and we shouldn't get anxious on bringing up our children. Sometimes all you have to do is follow your gut feeling. Our children need to learn that we are not perfect and that we are humans just like them. We need our time and our space and as they grow into their teens there is a different danger of invasion into our already invaded space as individuals. It is our duty to help them with time management until their 20s (yes, twenties!) as found by recent neurological studies. Sometimes they will resist and we have to do it. But 20 or more years per child is too long to stress over perfection, don't you think?
Finally, I must to acknowledge that I have been very fortunate in being able to leave a routine that I had developed as a working mother for 10 years and left me EXHAUSTED. We went to a place where life goes on at a slower, more relaxed pace, where most families have 3 children instead of 2 and where mothers are forced to stay home with their children until they are at least 5. That gave me the opportunity to assess those 10 years and to wonder how could I have carried on like that for so long. There I could read more books on older children and I understood that after a certain point we cannot influence them anymore. So our initial efforts are very important and then the Community takes over, including teachers, sport teams, clubs, etc. So now I am using all my free time on bringing the spirit of community into the equation. This is a great place to raise children with a lot of individual effort into everything everyone does but when it comes to feel part of a community I think we are still far from where we could be. But that would be a topic for another note. In the meantime, get plenty of rest when you can, give yourself permission to make mistakes, say sorry when needed and ASK for 'me' time. Spoil yourselves because your children and your community need you happy, healthy and strong.
Thanks for reading.
Veronica Athanasiou
Ex Biology teacher and now full time mum with a particular interest on community issues.
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